Pain
by Beastfire
Summary: Mandarin is annoyed by a certain mutant. Read for details. No flames, please.


Pain

A/N: Welcome to my newest story. Before I begin, I have a correction to make: Katje, if you're reading this, I screwed up in my last review when I said that you messed up on the name of Nova's part of the Super Robot. My mistake. I think I heard it incorrectly. Sorry!

Ivy: But that doesn't mean that Beastfire won't tweak anything with her stories to make that come out her own way.

Beastfire: Shut up.

Ivy: Make me!

Nova: I don't know either of these two. Beastfire owns Ivy. That's it.

Gibson walked to his lab, ready to start an experiment. He entered and his jaw nearly dropped to the floor. What he saw was a bunch of beer, coffee, and sugar being dumped into his equipment by none other than Ivy. As she was doing this, she was quietly singing the song "Lying From You" by Linkin Park to herself and had the usual glint in her eyes that showed that she was thinking (which, for her, was never a good thing).

"Ivy," Gibson asked in shock. "What are you doing in my lab!"

The meerkat looked up from her "project", and smirked.

"Making the ultimate beer," she said simply.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

A vein throbbed anime-style in Gibson's head. Why did the most annoying creature he'd ever known have to be in HIS lab?

"OUT," he screamed at her. "Get out of my lab!"

"Chill, dude, I'm almost done."

She held up her flask of the ultimate beer and took a swig. Immediately, her miniscule frame began to shake, her puplis dilated immensely, and she tripped over herself moreso than usual.

A hyper yet drunken smile formed on her face.

"THIS IS SOME GOOD STUFF!", she shouted at the top of her lungs and flew out of the lab, then out of the Super Robot at Mach 5 speed.

On the way out, she accidentally broke Nova's punching bag, flying through it and leaving a hole. Nova stared at the hole in amazement. That punching bag was made of solid steel! The yellow monkey was joined by Gibson.

"What's wrong with her," Nova asked.

"Would you like the whole list, or only the top ten?"

Meanwhile, Ivy darted around the city, still holding her beer, and laughed psychotically. People looked at her as though she were insane, which she was. Mandarin had just broken out of prison and was walking around trying to think of a revenge scheme. He heard the psychotic laughter and looked up. An idea quickly formed in his brain. 'This overly hyperactive little annoyance,' he thought, 'is close to my brothers. If I catch her, I can use her as bait to lure the others here.' He chuckled at the idea and fired up his rocket pack, going after the mutant. Ivy heard him behind her and, though inebriated, knew it was him.

"So, Mandarin," she slurred. "How're the oranges?"

She laughed at her own joke as if she'd just heard the funniest thing in the world. Mandarin took advantage of her impaired state of mind, and the present distraction, to wrap his tail around her and drag her into his new place: an abandoned airfield (cliché, maybe, but it's all I could think of).

Mandarin was about to contact the Monkey Team, after properly restraining Ivy. This was very hard, as she wouldn't hold still long enough. After attempting this for five minutes, with the only result being Mandarin accidentally tying his leg to his neck, he gave up on this endeavour and thought of something else to do. He couldn't kill her, because then there'd be no reason for the team to show up. He'd tried mind control, which failed miserably, since, if Ivy couldn't control her own mind, what hope was there for Mandarin?

He sat down and tried to think. He was rudely interrupted when Ivy came up to his face.

"Um, Mandarin," she began.

"What," he asked, exasperated.

"You have something hanging from your nose."

Mandarin reached up to wipe it.

"Here?"

"No, more to the left."

He moved his hand to the left.

"Here?"

"No, that's too far left. Try to the right."

He moved his hand to the right this time.

"Now?"

"No. But now the word 'Gullable' seems to be written on your forehead."

It took a second for Mandarin to catch on, as he screamed in rage. Was this the end of the annoyance? Of course not! In the next three hours, Mandarin lost his beard and his dignity, as well as his brain had been set on fire- literally. Now he was losing his marbles! As he banged his head into the wall repeatedly, Ivy was sneaking up behind him. She took another swig of her beer and began to pull Mandarin away from the wall telekinetically. She drew a bug on his hand and controlled his arms with her mind.

"This is Buggy," she said, waving Mandarin's left arm. "Buggy can fly." She clapped his hands together. "Clap for Buggy." She then brought his hands apart. "Buggy can die."

"_Buggy _isn't the only thing here that can die," Mandarin yelled, reaching out and pinning her to the wall. "Thanks to you, I've reached the end of my patience! Now, I'll just destroy you first!"

Ivy lifted her foot and kicked Mandarin in the- WHOOOOOOO! His eyes nearly popped out of his head as he clutched himself in pain, crying. His voice went up not one, not two, but THREE full octives! In celebration, she drank the rest of her beer and her BAC went up enough to cause unconsciousness. She passed out on the floor.

In the Super Robot, an hour later, after the team had figured out that Ivy was gone and went to bring her back, Gibson was trying to revive the mutant. Nothing was working. Otto then came in with a bucket of water and, quite unceromoniously, dumped it on her. Ivy shot up.

"DIE, PINK DRESS," she yelled, eyes glowing and fireball in hand. "DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The others stepped away, disturbed. Mandarin was back in prison, and actually glad about it. This was a small price to pay compared to having to deal with a drunk and hyper mental case.

Thank you people for reading yet another product of my insanity! Thanks for your support of my writing.

Ivy: I don't support you.

Beastfire: You should. I created you and, by God, I can eliminate you.

Ivy: Erm…BEASTFIRERULESPLEASEDONTDESTROYME!


End file.
